No bones about it, I struggle with a lack of proficiency with a shotgun. We all have things we just aren’t good at. I consider myself a good archer and a decent rifle shot, but somehow there is a mental block that keeps me from truly understanding what happens when I pull the trigger on my scatter gun. You might say, “Goose, it just shoots a wad of pellets. You should be able to hit anything!” In theory, yes. You should be able to hit anything, but if you aren’t confident when you squeeze the trigger, it doesn’t matter. You could be shooting a grenade launcher and you would still miss. I always tell myself that this year will be different. I will take the time to shoot and pattern my shotgun before the season, but I never do. This year though, I am even more hesitant when it comes to practicing.
Turkey loads are expensive in the best of times, and when there is a nationwide ammunition shortage it just gets more expensive. The shells I hunt with have gotten so pricy I write a dollar sign on the casing to remind myself of all the consequences pulling that trigger means. So, when you add together a lack of confidence in your gun, the enormous pressure of wasting ammo and money, and the ever-present nerves of a gobbler bearing down on you, the weight on your shoulders at the moment of truth is overwhelming. At least this is how I feel.
I have always said I am a great turkey hunter, but not a great turkey killer. I will find them, and I will get them in close, but have never been the closer I should be. I’ve missed my fair share, gotten handcuffed where I couldn’t move, and a litany of other things that have messed me up in the turkey woods. Things I can and can’t control. On these most common times, where things don’t go my way, I take it pretty hard. I put a lot of pressure on myself when it comes to my outdoor passions. I put pressure on myself to be a better hunter for myself, so I can better understand the game I pursue, and to provide my family with food. That is why I worry about my lack of confidence in my shotgun, and my inability at times to seal the deal. I worry because I care. Maybe, I care too much.
Do I care too much because I love it so much? Maybe. Am I not good at closing the deal because I just do not want the experience to end? Somewhere in my subconscious, probably. Do I just want the gobbler to continue screaming in my face and showing me his many colors as the sun glints off his feathers? I am sure that is part of it. There are hundreds of reasons that keep all of us from punching tags. Some of those reasons we recognize and can learn from, but there are also hundreds of factors that we never see.
A coyote comes into the call spooking every bird nearby. A group of jakes run in and cut off the incoming gobbler. A real hen comes in and out-hens you. That last one is the most annoying because there is literally no way you can beat that competition. You are not a hen. You can be great at sounding like a hen, but you will never be a hen turkey.
It’s important to learn from mistakes made in the field, whether they are actual mistakes or perceived mistakes, but we cannot dwell on them. Brooding over a missed opportunity can quickly lead to doubt and that doubt can fester inside your mind causing more mistakes in the future. The old adage of, “What you reap is what you sow”, could not be truer. Manifestation isn’t just some hippie talk. It is a motivation tool. It is sowing positive thoughts to reap positive results. The razor edge we all walk, in a lot of aspects of our life, is how to learn but not dwell, work hard but not obsess, and stay positive even when it seems negative. When you figure out how to do all these things simultaneously, let me know, because I have not figured it out yet. I probably never will, and neither will you.
I write all these things for myself first and foremost. I needed to hear this, and I am hoping someone else does too. Do not be afraid to manifest what you want this season, but let that manifestation push you to work harder at that goal. I should shoot and be more familiar with my shotgun. No matter the cost. That one is on me. I can control that. Getting handcuffed, setting up in the wrong spot and whatever else may cause me to come up short on a given day, I should let go. I need to go easier on myself, and I bet you should go easier on yourself as well. Control what you can, and don’t worry about what you can’t. Putting more pressure on yourself only thickens the fog in your judgement making it even harder to succeed.
The pressure of the moment is enough.
A Day in the Field 